Thursday, April 7, 2011

Couch Sleeper

Don’t get too comfortable – I am reminded every 3 weeks to not get too comfortable. It is 6 am and Christian wakes up with his head in a bucket. It has been another rough go at the hospital and I am once again reminded of the severity of what we are doing here.  Christian has been great and is responding so well to his chemotherapy treatments. I find myself thinking, “ok we can do this – its not so bad”. Then we are hit with his big chemo session and I am sorely reminded how serious this all is and how poisonous all of those toxins are in his body. He is such a brave little boy as he lies in his hospital bed with his throw up bucket in one hand and his star wars figure in another. As Christian is throwing up into his bucket Chris is saying, “Let’s put this stuff away” (referring to his star wars guys – the quantity now reaching epic proportions!) and Christian puts his hand out and says, “No, wait I am almost done”.  I am so thankful that he is such a trouper and almost seems to be guiding Chris and I through this journey. He puts up with intolerable amounts of crap with all the pokes, arm hugs (blood pressure), chemo drugs and throw up that I wonder how on earth he does it. 
Each time he has his big does of chemo they give him copious amounts of fluid to help flush the chemo out of his system quickly. This time there was so much fluid that his little face swelled up and he even ended up with a ‘flow’ heart murmur. He must feel so horrible yet he constantly seeks out happiness. He is so clever and catches onto so much of the conversations that Chris and I have when we think we are being ‘sneaky’.  So at a time when I should be sleeping I am sitting on my couch in the dark thinking of my little trouper and all he is going through. How difficult this journey has been for him and for our family. Chris and I struggle each day to remain positive with each other and even basic conversation misunderstandings and can turn into ‘couch sleepers’. But once again we rely on God to lead us through and dark mornings like these remind me to lean on Him more and ask Him for help more and trust Him more – so difficult to let go. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and He will guided you home”.
My boys - hanging on unit 1

We met another family on the unit today with the same kind of cancer that Christian has – there is a multitude of stories about how parents have found their child’s cancer. It is amazing that we all end up in the same place doing the same thing when the very day before we had all these ‘plans’ of grocery lists, errands to run and ‘to do’ lists to finish. Now, none of those things matter and you cannot even imagine a time when that was reality. Today is a reminder for me that our reality has changed and as much as I would like to go back to my lists and such I am thankful for this new outlook on our lives. I am thankful that we have been exposed to our silly ways of worrying about nonsense and material things when we should be focusing on family and creating memories with our kids. So sorry about the ‘boo hoo’ blog but I will smarten up here and begin once again to be thankful for the gifts we have been given. I will keep my head up and smile for Christian, Evelyn and Ryan because all they want is a happy mommy and daddy, hugs, kisses and a swing set outside. Life couldn’t get better – but it sure could be a lot worse – so I am thankful.

Brother Peder sporting his christian "do"

Thank you once again to all of the people who came out and supported our Bone Marrow event at AE Bowers School, especially the Airdrie Fire Department who showed up in droves with their big truck.. We need to continue to push for our 1000 registrants and to break down the barriers and myths associated with bone marrow donations.

Airdire Fire Department and Lisa Metcalf doing their part

Tracey and Franka

My mom, Heath and Kelly (preparing for parenthood!)

Today I am thankful for:
1. My cutie Evelyn who likes to run around after her bath saying, “I naked!”
2. Ryan up on hands and knees
3. Sleep in a soft warm bed with Christian's hand on my face

Cutest little 'lip sucker' ever!!!!!


  1. Megan if you don't have some boo hoo posts I will be thinking there is something wrong. Why shouldn't you feel angry, sad, depleted by all you and your boy are going through. it's normal and healthy to feel that way. As usual, I hold you both in my heart :-)

  2. "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation. And here's why:

    I was hungry and you fed me,
    I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
    I was homeless and you gave me a room,
    I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
    I was sick and you stopped to visit,
    I was in prison and you came to me.'

    37-40"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'

    41-43"Then he will turn to the 'goats,' the ones on his left, and say, 'Get out, worthless goats! You're good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because—

    I was hungry and you gave me no meal,
    I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
    I was homeless and you gave me no bed,
    I was shivering and you gave me no clothes,
    Sick and in prison, and you never visited.'

    44"Then those 'goats' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?'

    45"He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.'

    46"Then those 'goats' will be herded to their eternal doom, but the 'sheep' to their eternal reward."

    Another great blog Megan. God is so using you in ministering to so many through this site. I admire you and Chris for continuing the fight day after day just doing what has to be done and not looking at what it is costing you. You instill a confidence in those around you, particularly your children who need to feel like mom and dad have things in control and are protecting me. You two are being made into better leaders through all this. God is proud of you guys and your trust is placed in Him. I love the Crowell family of Airdrie.

  3. Children can teach the rest of so much. It is the reason I love working with them everyday. Christian's fight is a tough one but it is clear he is not letting him get him down! I registered for one match today! Thanks to you guys for educating us on all we can do to help. I can't wait to see you all in July! -love, Blair

  4. Hi Megan,
    I read about your story in the Airdrie Echo. I also have a 3 year old (daughter) and your story has sincerely touched my heart. I just wanted to let you know that I have just been to the onematch website and have registered to be a bone marrow donor. Bless you all and I wish you the very best of luck for a full and speedy recovery for Christian.
    Sarah Haylock-Jacobs.

  5. HI Megan,
    I work for the City of Airdrie and saw your poster on our intranet. I have a 16 month old son and cannot imagine how diffucult this must be for you and your family. My heart goes out to you all and I wish Christian a full and quick recovery. Your story has prompted me to sign up for the onematch program. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Christian, you make us all better people just for knowing you!
    Andrea Howatt