Wednesday, December 26, 2012


One of my precious smiles...

Merry Christmas from the Crowell household! Today was a great day in our house as we enjoyed a lovely Christmas morning, afternoon and evening surrounded by many family members. I will readily admit that until this morning I was full of anxiety, wondering whether or not Christian would make it to Christmas day. I am sad to admit that these were my thoughts yet I never actually spoke these words to anyone. Doing so would admit that my faith and belief in a complete healing were false and I was only putting on pretenses for show. This is really silly because God already knows my heart and understood my fear. I was scared; I was petrified that for the rest of my life the Christmas holidays would be a scar that never faded. I feel a deep sense of relief to have enjoyed these days with Christian and I have decided to let go of the prayers of desperation and move into a mode of thanksgiving and been still. Trying to calm my mind, my fears, and my worries and try to hear God leading us.
Most of my time spent here on the couch with my 

Love my daddy!
Only three days ago we ended up driving to the hospital early in the morning after Christian spent most of the night screaming in pain. Pain that couldn’t be controlled with morphine or love or anything else I had to offer. The day before Christmas Eve and I was wondering if this trip to the hospital would end up being a permanent situation. Would we get to come home for Christmas? Well obviously the answer is yes! I put a word out to our faithful prayer warriors and within 5 hours his pain under control (we are so grateful when the answer to pain is poo!) and he rested comfortably for a few more hours before we were allowed to leave. I was overjoyed to bring him to Christmas Eve church service (even if he came in his PJ’s and slept the whole time!) and even more overjoyed when he happily got out of bed this morning and walked downstairs to see what Santa had left for him.
I am going to submit a prayer request in the middle of my blog because we need everybody to know how dire this situation is, how desperately we need prayer and ultimately healing for Christian. Christian’s abdomen is grossly bloated and swollen. It is so full that his surgical scars are stretched and red, his stomach muscles work extra hard to take each breath and his bowels take a beating every minute of the day. His tumor has grown significantly and has taken over that side of his abdomen. We need prayer that this tumor would begin to shrink (or completely disappear!) before he suffers from an inevitable bowel obstruction.

Sibling love....
Our new regimen of drug cocktails seems to keep him fairly comfortable but unfortunately he is groggy, tired and stoned for most of his day. I rejoice every time I see a true smile from his little face. It seems his moments of pleasure are few and far between. He does still love to build and play with his hero factory guys and watches his favorite TV shows on the couch. But it seems the drugs have stolen his ability to respond to anything with a positive emotion. His movements throughout the day are from our bed to the couch, to the bathroom and back to the couch (the last step repeated several times a day!) On good days he will make his way down to my mom’s house and visit with her and put together some Lego or play a game of Wii bowling with Papa and daddy.  I am very grateful that he wants to eat all day long (grazing we call it!) and clings to his favorite foods of Lipton noodles, crackers and cream cheese and grilled cheese sandwiches.
Christmas morning

Please keep lifting Christian up in prayer believing that his journey will lead to an amazing glorification of what God can do right here on earth. The bible says that God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. And in biblical times Jesus healed so many. So He will heal now – just as He did back then. But a childlike faith and belief in God’s ability are vital. There are times in the Gospels when people were healed just by touching the garment that Jesus wore – because they believed so strongly that He could heal. Jesus hasn’t changed, but our faith has because we don’t ‘see’ the healings, social media doesn’t cover them and they don’t make the headlines. But God heals and miracles happen everyday. So please pray for Jayden and Christian, for healing in the land of the living. For full restoration of their bodies, that they would be blessed 10 fold for the time they have lost while fighting for their lives. As I write this blog and look back at my previous entry and I am frightened when I see how fast he has declined in a weeks time. I need to constantly remind myself that God’s timing is perfect but I long for Christian’s suffering to be over – a mothers heart can only take so much.

This Christmas season as I struggled to ‘hear’ God speak to me but I found myself very drawn to a few particular Christmas songs. One of them was “Drummer Boy” by Mercy Me. For some reason the words of the song jumped out at me as he sings;
Shall I play for you?
Shall I play for you?
Mary looked at me and nodded
The ox and lamb kept time
I played my drum for him
I played my best for Christ
I played my best for Christ
And all of a sudden it wasn’t just a Christmas song I had heard every year for the past 37 years I was there in the stable with Joseph and Mary and baby Jesus. I can see the little shabby boy standing there with his drum, timid but fully grasping the significance of the little baby born that evening in a stable. He had nothing of monetary value to offer as a gift to Christ. But what he did have to offer was himself and the gift the savior Himself has bestowed on the little boy. And he wanted to play for the little baby, he wanted to make the baby proud with the only gift he had – himself. And it made me do an inward and I took a hard look at myself and began to think about the gifts that God has bestowed on me. Am I using them to glorify God?  I am not sure I even know what they would be, perhaps the gift of leadership and determination? The drummer boy reminded me that every time we use our gifts to glorify him we make him smile. When we use our gifts to help others, those in need or those who can’t help themselves, God smiles. He doesn’t require extravagant gifts, sacrifices or magnanimous show of ‘religion’. What He does ask is that we use the gifts we are given to bring glory to Him and help our neighbors.
Our beautiful Rapunzel!!!

Today I am thankful for:
1.Songs that reach right into my chest and grab my heart
2.Turkey Dinner!!! YUM
3.Watching Christian open his Christmas presents with happy emotion and gratitude. 


  1. merry christmas crowells! i' m so happy christian was home with his family and had a joyful day. lego is universally the best present ever i believe. lots and lots of love from my heart to yours xxx

  2. So glad that Christian could be home for Christmas and was able to get up to open his presents.
    I love the words you wrote Megan - Jesus hasn't changed! Thank God for that. I'm praying for a miracle of healing on earth for your beautiful boy.
    I also appreciated your reflection on the Drummer Boy. 'He doesn’t require extravagant gifts, sacrifices or magnanimous show of ‘religion’. What He does ask is that we use the gifts we are given to bring glory to Him and help our neighbors.'
    In your troubles and heartbreak, God is using your gift of words to remind me, and others, of what He wants from us. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly.
    Love to you all from Judy xx

  3. Christian has taught us a lot and so have you. God bless your family richly as only He can. May He give the peace that passes all understanding in your hearts, the peace that only He can bestow. You are so right in saying we must play with absolute belief. Not a wishy washy, well maybe. What did Jesus tell us? If you are lukewarm I will spit you out of my mouth. Be red hot in the belief that God will heal Christian and his friend. You are also right in saying God's timing is not our timing. Of course we'd like Christian to be healed instantly. God will heal in His own time and it's sometimes hard to wait. I just think this little boy has inspired so many people in his journey. When I pray for him I feel prayers of many hundreds of people agreeing in prayer with me. It's an awesome experience and all brought about by your little boy. He's a miracle. To use the gifts God gave us is the biggest privilege we can have. That's all he requires of us, to seek His will and follow it. No gaudy shows of religion, I don't actually think God likes religion. A quiet relationship with Him and sincere prayer, sharing with other believers and non believers alike, beats religion every time. I love to pray for Christian and I know God will heal him, not put him in remission...heal him. Praise Jesus, Christian is healed!!!! Hallelujah!!

  4. Hi Megan, I'm a friend of Pastor Freda. It's through her that I found out about Chritian's condition. In 1995 our family went through a short but intense period with the prospect of possibly loosing our then 4 year old son Paul.
    It all started when we noticed that he couldn't sit up straight at the dinner table, he'd favor one side and said his bum was sore. Being how energetic and busy Paul was ,we figured he'd fallen off the chair or something. But things kept on happening, had a hard time riding his tricycle,complained of pain at nite. The day that he couldn't climb the monkey bars on the swing set we knew there was something wrong.The doctor sent him for blood tests which was showing inflammation
    but didn't know what caused it. The doctor thought it serious enough to send him to the IWK hospital stat.
    By then Paul was walking leaned over to one side in pain. They ran all kinds of tests which I'm sure you're too familiar with. The results showed two small tumors in his skull and one in his spine that caused a vertebrae to collapse (intense pain he was feeling).
    The first prognosis we received chocked us. In a blurr we were faced with possibly loosing our son! All pointed out to an aggressive form of cancer... I can't even explain what we were feeling, it was so surreal .
    Yes we prayed, family, friends, churches and strangers. Merie (my wife) had just placed her faith in The Lord Jesus two weeks prior to all this. We prayed. People were wonderful, all kinds of help in many forms came.
    I remember going in the small chapel at the hospital, after praying a peace came over me and I just knew Paul was going to be all right. Didn't know how or when, but I knew and held on to that.

    They ran more tests , it's amazing though they can look so fragile how tough children are. All through this , Paul kept telling doctor Howse ,doctor brown and the nurses that God was gonna heal his bum. He'd even stop everyone all of a sudden and ask me to pray for him on the spot.
    They were going to take a biopsy, 5 times they changed their mind about putting in a direct line for chimo.They opted not to. When they took the biopsy at the same time they removed part of the tumor to relieve the pressure.
    Now I'm probably gonna get this wrong but the name of his condition was called Eosonophic granuloma . I asked the doctor what this meant and he answered it's much better then what he first thought it was.

    They put him in a body cast ( covered his torso and half of one leg)
    and did nothing else, sent us home and waited after, I forget, maybe a month, we returned. The nurses barely recognized Paul because he was hopping around with his cast on ( it was fiberglass and we could fit his cloth over)was hard to tell he had one.
    God is so faithful, from then on the tumors were disappearing,and after a year the only thing left was the scar on his lower back from the operation. Which today Paul is 21 and that scar reminds him and us of God's faithfulness,love and compassion.
    All this to say that I don't pretend to know everything your family is going through , we just had a taste of it.
    God is always there through every moment of everyday, don't loose faith and hang on to the hope that Christ has given you.
    Whatever God has showed you , grasp on to it , believe that it is done.

    You and your family are an inspiration, a testimony of an honest walk before The Lord, thank you for sharing your life with us . May God Bless your family abundantly and His joy may be yours and give you victory!

    1. What a beautiful story to share with the Crowell family. I hope they take as much peace and hope from it as I did. Amazing. So happy for you and your Paul.

      Lise W.

  5. Please look up "Rick Simpson" on facebook. There is a cure for all cancers. Rick Simpson tells all aboot it on his page. It is a natural medicine that "God" has provided as he said he would in the bible. Please take the time to read about it. Youtube "Rick Simpson Run From the a good place to start.
    May you educate yourself about this cure that God has provided for you and help heal your son.God bless you all.

  6. Merry Christmas Christian, Megan, Chris, Evelyn, Ryan and FAMILY! A very tough one, but many blessings throughout. Our family continues to pray for Christian's healing and comfort as well as his ability to find both joyful and playful opportunities. Praying also for strength and clarity of thoughts and prayers for you all (and the rest of us too!). Many gentle hugs to each of you.

  7. There are no words to get out what I'm thinking and feeling for Christian and you and your precious family, just prayers and faith.

  8. I don't know what all your gifts are, sweet Megan, but I do know that you give glory to God in (probably) countless ways every time you write a blog entry. You give of yourself in writing, not only to your family but to each of your readers in their own specific situation - which you are not aware of but God and that particular reader is. Ministry is all about giving yourself -and when we use the gifts the Lord has given us that is when we are truly engaged in ministry - for we are truly ourselves - and in being our true selves we are giving glory to God who created us. So happy to hear you and your family had a good Christmas. Will continue to pray. Love and Blessings, Patricia (Antigonish).

  9. Merry Christmas Crowell family. Peace and miracles.

    Lise W.

  10. You have been a blessing to my own heart this holiday season-Praying for you all!
    Love Susan C Spruce Grove AB

  11. The pain and suffering of this poor child makes me think of Matt. 27:46 "My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?" His name is Christian yet his God allows him to suffer month after month.

  12. Many many prayers and many gentle hugs to Christian. To each of you.

  13. Happy New Years Christian and Family! I have spent today wondering how I could feel so much love for someone I've never met and I finally realized its all in God :) I wish, pray, and wait for the very best for all of you!
    Bless you Crowells!
    ~ Love lots! Crystal

  14. Hey, I have so much I wish to say, but instead I would simply like to make an offering. I am a Reiki Master and am more than happy to provide sessions to Christian (and the whole family) ... I can bring my table to your home.

    If you are not familiar with Reiki .. it is translated as life force energy. It is a great way to balance energy and promote good health and healing; mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. It is non-invasive. If you would like to take me up on my offer or learn more please do not hesitate to contact me, I can work with your schedule.

    Alecia Kerber 403-404-3742

    Infinite Love and Gratitude