Thursday, December 13, 2012


Dear Christian. My heart is heavy for you tonight. For the past two days your energy levels have been extremely low, as is your enthusiasm. I constantly ask you if you are not feeling well but you simply reply to me, “no I feel fine”. But the sadness and resignation in your voice tell me different. You are tired, not just physically tired but emotionally tired of this journey. I imagine it would be like having the stomach flu for two months. As your mommy I would whine and wail after only two days of being sick -  but you my might warrior – you just battle on. We stopped your chemotherapy last week at the suggestion of our medical team. They felt the disease was progressing despite the chemotherapy (which was making you soooo sick) so we are truly now investing everything else in our God, our Healer. The only medicine you are taking now is to control your pain and try to ease your discomforts. I have been praying constantly that God would speak to your heart, and hopefully bring you some peace. I know he has been faithful in helping us control your pain as you seem to be relatively comfortable but now I pray He answers this prayer for enthusiasm and zeal. The return of the Christian who is excited to play and visit with family.
Puzzle path with Izzy - see the determination????

I am also praying that you could gain some weight. You have dropped down to that dangerous level of weight loss where I can see every vertebra and rib in your body. Every ounce of extra fat has been used. I pray that every morsel of food you eat has a 100 fold effect in terms of energy and calorie. There is so much to pray about and so many things “I want” but over these past few hours I have been resigned to the Lord’s Prayer knowing he already knows the desires and longings in my heart. I am prayed out so I find comfort in knowing that others are praying on our behalf, on behalf of Jayden and our families. I know as we speak people are hungry as they fast for these two boys.

Matthew 6:8-13
….for your father knows what you need before you asking him. “This then is how you should pray: “’Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts. As we also have forgiven our debtors. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil’”
So my sweet Christian I just want to remind you how proud I am of your. How patient you are and how your love just flows like a river whose banks are about to break. On an hourly basis you tell me how much you love me, how special I am. Your skin is off white and pale and your eyes are a yucky tinge of yellow, yet the beauty of your soul just shines through you. Yesterday when we were driving I was trying to explain to you why you have been sick for so long, and how we have tried to make you better but it is just not working. Now, I explained to you, it is up to God to come up with a way to make you better and we are trusting in Him. I told you how proud I was that you continued to fight and be strong, that I was so full of love for you. I asked if you knew these things that I was telling you, you looked right at me and said, “Well I do now!” I totally busted a gut! You are so hilarious – it makes my heart pound for you even more.
Best friends forever......
Our emotional fatigue is taking its toll on our bodies; almost all of us have a horrible cough and Chris has now developed stomach ulcers (sorry Chris if you didn’t want to share this info with the rest of the world!) But the members of our church and our families are buoying us. I cannot tell you the relief Chris and I feel as his parents make their way out west for Christmas. The extra pair of hands to keep kids happy and busy, the extra ears to hear our concerns but mostly the amazing atmosphere of family coming together in one space to share this most amazing occasion of the birth of Christ. The joy of watching the kids on Christmas morning, the peace of the Christmas Eve service and just being surrounded by people who love us and we love in return.
Christian we are so blessed to live in this amazing city with our friends and church who support us non stop, to live in this province with an amazing hospital to take care of you, to live in this country with a health care system that will pay out millions of dollars to try and save your life. We are so blessed to be in a situation where we can have physical comforts amidst our pains and anxiety, that we have friends who come to us when we need them. We are blessed by God who hears every single one of our prayers and continues to bless us over this life changing Christmas holiday.
Mostly I am grateful that God is bringing together all of these families, friends and people so that as a congregation and community we can witness the amazing healing that is going to happen for these two boys. Until then, Praise be to God and all the Glory belongs to HIM,
Hockey anyone????
I would like to plug an amazing event that our friends are putting on for the Phaneuf family. On December 20th in NW Calgary there will be a “Mocktails and Mistletoe” event featuring an intimate concert by George Canyon (as well as silent auction) and all proceeds go to support “Jayden’s Home”. Please see the link below for more information. Please put on your pretty’s and come and join us for an awesome evening of music and friendship in support of our dear friends: Doug, Loralie, Megan, Nicky and Jayden.
Jayden and Loralie in the clinic

Matthew 11:28-30
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Christian's photography....he is so keen:)

Today I am thankful for:
1.Puzzles with Christian and Grammy
2.Afternoon hot tub dates with uncle Peder
3.Random goodies from families who drop off food to our door – God bless you
4.Hanging out with Evan under our Christmas tree all at night while she talks to the ornaments and tells them stories (apparently they talk back to her!!! Should I be worried???)
NB – Crystal come back for that hug…I would be so blessed to meet and chat with you anytime! 


  1. God give you strength, my darlings. We pray for you everyday that you will remain strong and rest in the Power of our Lord. We are so thankful for your blogs and feel your presence in every line. You are God's Author in this journey, Megan. We send a huge bundle of love to our little family in Airdrie as you prepare for Christmas. "auntie" Marilyn and Bob

  2. Sweet Megan. My heart is breaking. I love you all so much. Wishing is futile but I do. xxx

  3. God put his hand upon your shoulders and is with you all every minute of the day. I pray for you all everyday. Thinking of you all. Barb for NS

  4. Thank you for sharing your heart again, Megan, for sharing your life and your family and your love for each other. Praying for Christian and Jayden that our loving God who heals will do in them more than we could ever ask or imagine. Alleluia! With love and blessings, Patricia (Antigonish)

  5. Sending you love from Halifax. My prayers are with you, and for you. I pray daily that as he has you all securely wrapped in love, you will feel his presence stronger than ever before. - Helen

  6. As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you and Christian, that you will all stay strong and remember how much you are loved! Sending all my love from Waterloo,

    PS beautiful pictures of the kids on the blog as always... the one of Evelyn and Christian is adorable!

  7. I close my eyes and pray for you. Your faith and love of God is inspiring. Love. Prayer. Warmth. Peace.

    Lise W.

  8. Thank You for taking the time to keep us informed on how Christian is doing. Such a little trooper. We continue to pray for your family during this time. The pictures of Evelyn ,Christian & Ryan are beautiful.
    Hugs from Antigonish

  9. Hi Crowells!
    I do not know you personally but I have been following Christians story for a long time now. I am a cousin of Kelly Klein. Her and my Auntie Brenda were the first to show me this when my best friend was diagnosed with cancer last year. Your blog has helped me so much with dealing and with my faith. I pray for Christian every night before I sleep. I just want to tell you that you helped me get through a lot last year, and I owe you a thank you from the bottom of my heart!!! I would also like to be added to your one match count! I sent my kit away last week!! God is great, and has done so much through Christian!!
    Praying for your family always,
    Hayley Gottschalk

  10. As well making friendships you can lift and inspire others through Christian conversation and also receive lots of support yourself. Christian chat