FIGHTER

I love the concern in Evelyn's eyes - what a sweety!

I watched today while Christian was extubated and was filled with joy to see his nose and lips free of tubes and tape. Three minutes later I was filled with horror as I watch his vital signs start to decline as he struggles to breath. His throat was swelling up and the pressure in his lungs (caused by too much mucus) was making it very difficult for the respiratory therapist to bag him. At one point he lost the breath sounds on his left side and I wondered if there was a point when they would not be able to save him anymore. Could it be possible that today would be his last day on earth? My heart only briefly allows the thought to enter my mind.

Trying to breath

I listen to the Dr Megan talk about how strong Christian is and how hard he is fighting. How amazed she is at his strength and I wonder why I am questioning his ability to fight as well. God is most markedly in this room with us, holding Christian close to his heart as he struggles. There are two doctors, two therapists, and nurses all working around to try and keep him going and despite all of the hands on him and around him he is looking at me and communicating with a calm that can only be God given. The doctor stares at him in wonder and I have a moment of enlightenment when I realize it is God fighting for him. It is God battling tooth and nail and not allowing the clutches of satan to take him from us this day. Or any day. I feel in my heart and with every ounce of my soul that this battle of Christian’s is not going to end in defeat. Cancer will not be the end of Christian’s life but the beginning of it. He is destined to be great – a human being with the understanding and compassion that only a few people in this world could ever fathom. There is no reason for him to fight so hard and have so many trials to not triumph. God truly has a plan for him and is fighting along side him. Helping us to see His power and allowing us to release control. I have never felt so helpless as I did today watching the struggle in his eyes and the veins in his neck and the blue in his lips. I had no control today – but God had control and God brought him through with the help of all the staff here at the hospital. Whether they knew they were part of God’s grand plan – they were. They saved Christians life today – so that he can battle again tomorrow and the next.

As Christian is fighting to breath and live, Chris and I make sure he knows how proud of him we are – that he can fight so hard and work so hard. I am amazed that he knows no bounds of his abilities. I remind him that golfing with daddy is in his future. Today this little boy deserves the world, or at least an amazing round of golf or two.

Leave to uncle dalton to be silly!!!!!

Thanks for praying for Christian

Today I am thankful for:

1.     Doctors

2.     Fast acting respiratory therapists

3.     My brother Dalton showing up in uniform for a quick visit with Christian