Monday, October 17, 2011


I love the concern in Evelyn's eyes - what a sweety!
I watched today while Christian was extubated and was filled with joy to see his nose and lips free of tubes and tape. Three minutes later I was filled with horror as I watch his vital signs start to decline as he struggles to breath. His throat was swelling up and the pressure in his lungs (caused by too much mucus) was making it very difficult for the respiratory therapist to bag him. At one point he lost the breath sounds on his left side and I wondered if there was a point when they would not be able to save him anymore. Could it be possible that today would be his last day on earth? My heart only briefly allows the thought to enter my mind.
Trying to breath
I listen to the Dr Megan talk about how strong Christian is and how hard he is fighting. How amazed she is at his strength and I wonder why I am questioning his ability to fight as well. God is most markedly in this room with us, holding Christian close to his heart as he struggles. There are two doctors, two therapists, and nurses all working around to try and keep him going and despite all of the hands on him and around him he is looking at me and communicating with a calm that can only be God given. The doctor stares at him in wonder and I have a moment of enlightenment when I realize it is God fighting for him. It is God battling tooth and nail and not allowing the clutches of satan to take him from us this day. Or any day. I feel in my heart and with every ounce of my soul that this battle of Christian’s is not going to end in defeat. Cancer will not be the end of Christian’s life but the beginning of it. He is destined to be great – a human being with the understanding and compassion that only a few people in this world could ever fathom. There is no reason for him to fight so hard and have so many trials to not triumph. God truly has a plan for him and is fighting along side him. Helping us to see His power and allowing us to release control. I have never felt so helpless as I did today watching the struggle in his eyes and the veins in his neck and the blue in his lips. I had no control today – but God had control and God brought him through with the help of all the staff here at the hospital. Whether they knew they were part of God’s grand plan – they were. They saved Christians life today – so that he can battle again tomorrow and the next.

As Christian is fighting to breath and live, Chris and I make sure he knows how proud of him we are – that he can fight so hard and work so hard. I am amazed that he knows no bounds of his abilities. I remind him that golfing with daddy is in his future. Today this little boy deserves the world, or at least an amazing round of golf or two.
Leave to uncle dalton to be silly!!!!!

Thanks for praying for Christian
Today I am thankful for:
1.     Doctors
2.     Fast acting respiratory therapists
3.     My brother Dalton showing up in uniform for a quick visit with Christian 


  1. Megan, Christian gets his amazing strength from you and Chris... to be able to share with us your fears, your thoughts, your minute by minute trials and still show God shining through all of this struggle. You are truly amazing... My family and I send all of our love and prayers to all of you... tonight and always.... thank you for sharing. God Bless and Stay Strong!!

    Danielle Domshy

  2. Your posts have been so inspiring so thank you for sharing. You guys are so amazing. Sending prayers and always keeping you guys in my thoughts!
    Katrice Domshy

  3. Praying, praying, praying.

  4. Thanking the Lord for seeing Christian through this next step in his journey. Thanking the Lord for Mom and Dad who`s love is carrying him, and for all who are lifting everything in prayer to the Lord God. Be strong and know that I am God and I have your son in the palm of my hand. I have rescued him and I have saved him and I will never let go. My Word is true. My word is Everlasting Life to all who believe. Trust in me and lean not unto your own understanding. Hold fast your faith in me. With love in christ Jesus.Nancy D.

  5. Thanking God tonight for Christian's amazing parent's . You both are wonderfully strong people. Thank you for taking the time to share the ups and downs of the Crowell family struggle. We continue to stand with you in prayer and in the knowledge that God is indeed fighting with and for Christian ... and for each of you. Praying for many more 'cuddle times' for you, Megan, & Christian.

  6. I didn't make it very far into the blog before the tears had to be wiped away to continue reading. Your family, your little boy's fight, our God, all bring me to tears. I can't imagine what this is like as a mom, especially today, but I know that strength in the Lord is getting you, and Christian, through and I am so thankful that you know Him. I am glad the picture that Noah drew for Christian did get there and I love that he included a rainbow and made sure to tell me why. So I continue trusting and praying with you as God continues to keep His promises.

  7. When I worked in the NICU, we used to tell the parents, one step forward, two steps back. One day at a time sweet little boy, one day at a time. Rest up, you have the rest of your amazing life ahead of you!!! xoxoxo

  8. Your story-CHRISTIAN-gives everyone following you on this road the strength and passion to live their lives to the fullest. That is one very strong little boy. He (and the rest of you, of course) is in my thoughts and prayers always.


  9. Christian you are an incredible little man and what a Blessing you are to those whose lives you have so greatly impacted. I have only met you one time little man and from that moment I knew you had a great story to share. Praying for you that Gods hand would always be on you and I also pray for your Mommy and Daddy as you continue to grow stronger every day and become the mighty WARRIOR God has destined for you to be.

  10. Marilyn: Just letting you know that we are thinking of you and the rest of the Crowell family, especially for little Christian who has obviously been through so much in such a short time. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all!
    Harvey & Kathy