Christian's Fight: Travelling Family

Relaxing with dad on the stoop!

I have spent the better part of an hour reading back over my past blog postings (starting at the beginning), and I am amazed at how far our family has travelled and it has only been six months. Six pivotal months. Six months that has seen so many changes. It has taken Ryan from being almost a newborn to a full fledged red headed screaming, food sucking ball of blubbery joy! It has taken Evelyn from a toddling little cutie patootie to a two year old brilliant, walking, talking tower of terror! It has taken Chris and I from a stage where we occupied our life with things we thought were important to a time where life is the most important thing. It has taken us to a stage when time is measured in hours and fevers, by doctor’s visits and blood transfusions, by needles and dressing changes. But most importantly is had taken Christian from being a very very sick little boy to a healing 3.5 year old mature little man. He has transformed in a little person whose strength and resiliance is beyond my comprehension. He has put up with so much, fought so hard and battled this tumor to a point where is now exhausted and somedays has troubles getting by without having a nap or a mental breakdown and most days he has both! He has such a frail vulnerability that I sometimes forget he is only eight short weeks away from turning 4.

I feel like we were already discussing life's twists and turns....

"being strengthened with all power

according to his glorious might

so that you may have great endurance and patience," Colossians 1:11

I feel sad that he is so skinny and his weight is not improving but then I read back over the blogs and I am reminded of just how far we have come. We spent a long time in the hospital with him quite sick, not eating, moving - nothing. So I remember the first night when Christian asked Chris and I for pizza. It was almost midnight but Chris was so elated he ran out and got him a pizza and I think both Chris and I shed tears as we watched him devour a slice a pizza. Probably the first real piece of food we had seen him eat in weeks. And I remember when we brought him home after his first month in the hospital. I recall that all he could do was to lay on the couch and we would be ecstatic if he would walk down the hallway, smile or engage on of us in a game or book. So things really have gotten better, times change and our focuses change but the end goal is what occupies my mind. Christian needs to be cancer free.

So to say he is doing ‘well’ is true, the fact that he can play and run and eat and enjoy the outdoor pool – but he still has cancer and he is still fighting for his life -everyday until the cancer cells are all gone. And what matters to me the most is that at the end of his treatment when we sit down and speak with Dr. Lewis after his last scan in December, he tells me Christian is cancer free. It will take a full eight years before he can be considered cured but if he can run, play, grow and enjoy his little life - well that is all i can ask for.

Love Chapters!

So the goal for the end of the line is set. The journey along the way will be filled with highs and lows. This journey is what we need to remember and embrace. Embrace it because it is our life and we must not wish it away. It is God's will that we travel this road together as a family and as a community. It is God’s tool for teaching us. Teaching us to be better parents, people, friends and sisters. The journey is what will make us strong; the journey is what will make our marriage better. The journey will give us understanding and compassion for other people who are sick and underprivileged. We cannot control which way we will travel on the open seas but we can control our sails. We can set our sights on the important things in life and pray that these lessons will remain strong in our memories. We can chose to focus on the blessings we are given, the friends we make, the amazing things we will see and the experiences we will have with our children. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to set this time in our lives to writing, that I will have the chance to look back and read about an moment of time that was difficult beyond understand and amazing all at the same time. A moment to remember my children just as they are now – cute, irresistible, cuddly, soft and the best of all – mine!

So five months to go and no guessing what the immediate future holds for Christian. I am praying his endurance holds up and he is able to enjoy the summer. He is very lonely for friends to play with so please stop by or call for a visit! I am praying the tumor is shrinking and dying off as I type this. I am praying that God will continue to grant me peace in my heart. I am praying that understanding of Christians cancer will grow and the lessons we garnish from this experience will be life changing.

Chris donated blood today for the first time in years (I was rejected due to low hemoglobin…isn’t that a funny twist of fate?) and it was a great lesson for our kids to learn about the simple things that we can do that have such a huge impact on others. I feel when most people think about saving someone’s life by donating blood they refer to a picture of an emergency room and a guy losing blood from a gun shot wound. That may be true but there is nothing more real that a whole pint of red blood draining into Christians central lines. I am not being ostentatious when I say that it could be you to save Christians life. Without his seven blood transfusions Christian would be too sick to receive his chemotherapy treatments. Without his chemotherapy and radiation treatments he would have succumbed to his tumor. So with every transfusion he receives his little life has been spared. And not only Christians but every other little boy and girl whom are RIGHT NOW sleeping in the oncology ward at the Alberta Children’s Hospital. So thank you to everybody who has taken time out of their busy schedule to donate. Thank you to Reagan and Louise who came out to the Genesis place tonight to donate.