Where is my hair?

What is more beautiful? My tulips
or Christians smile?

Sleep deprived. Two words which so perfectly describe the past few days. I don’t even know where the week went. Last night we made an emergency run to the Children’s hospital at 400am. It was the first midnight run that we have made since Christian was first diagnosed. It was another one of those unwanted “wake up” calls for Chris and I. Christian woke up with a horrible croup sounding cough and a fever. Of course just having had his chemo I was deathly afraid that his counts would be in the toilet and he would be unable to fight off whatever bug he was hosting. Thankfully he recovered almost as soon as he got to the hospital and they kept him only to give him some fluids and a course of anti-biotics. We will return tomorrow am to finish off his dose and check his counts. It was a good prompting for Chris and I to return to our prior ways of constant hand washing and germ tracking instead of the loosey-goosey manner with which we have been handling our current sanitization. 

Christian is such a happy little soul it is sometimes easy to forget that he is fighting for his life. Everyday his body is battling this senseless tumor in his belly while he continues on with his life. While he plays, reads, watch’s TV and sleeps his body is perpetually trying to breakdown the tumor shattered by the radiation. I try to think about his little body fighting yet his spirit just flows from him like a positive energy that affects everybody who meets him. As we speak he comes running to me across the kitchen floor after a 3 hour nap with the biggest smile on his face – and I feel like I have won the lottery.  Is it possible to really love someone this much? I yearn for the day when he will be disease free, poke free, pain free, limitless, fruitful and passionate.

Tubby time with Evelyn

Today’s story for Christian is a testament to his witty sense of humor and ability to poke fun at himself. When Christian began to lose his hair we explained to him that the medicine that the doctors were giving him was going to make his hair fall out (temporarily). He didn’t really seem to care and shortly thereafter he looked at the mirror and said to me with a big smile on his face, “Hey! Where did my hair go”!?  The other day got a little cut on the top of his head that has been healing quite nicely. He looked at himself in the mirror at my mom’s house and said, “Look! I’ve got this cut on my head and no hair to hide it!”  Cutest baldy ever!