Monday, February 25, 2013

February 25

Dear Christian,
How do I love and miss you? Let me count the ways;
-       I miss your silly little faces and funny tongue tricks
-       I love your fuzzy hair and rubbing my hands through it
-       I miss hearing you coming down the stairs and then coming over to curl up in my lap
-       I miss the way you always wanted to make your sister or brother feel better if they were sad
-       I miss being the ‘tickle monster’ when you would come down the red twisty slide
-       I love how you copied everything your daddy did when you guys were golfing
-       I miss hearing you finish the words in your story books that we read over and over again (star wars most recently and diggers and dumpers from when you were smaller)
-       I miss your gentle heart and soft hands on my skin
-       I love the way you and Evelyn would play Batman and Cat Lady
-       I miss watching you sit at your Star Wars draw of men, playing for hours
-       I miss your stubbornness when it came to shopping for guys on Ebay!
-       I love the way you loved your cousins, and how you called them your friends
-       I love that you wanted to come to church with us so you could listen to the music
-       I love that you wanted to only eat the tops of the cheese burgers and pepperoni pizza without the pepperoni
-       I miss dancing with you in our living room, Mary Poppins, Lion King and “So What”
-       I miss watching you play washers with your daddy and Papa and bowling with Grandpa
-       I miss going to Banff with you and throwing rocks into the river, getting pizza and playing at the park with the mountains as our backdrop
-       I miss having tubs with you late at night, having battles with your Smurfs and Batman guys
But most of all I miss loving you; I miss having my days dedicated to keeping you happy, safe and by my side. I miss protecting you and getting you ham and cheese and mustard sandwiches at midnight. I miss falling asleep with you while watching Incredibles and Toy Story. Oh sweet Christian, I wait for the day when the pain isn’t so intense and tangible. I wait for the day when I will be able to pass an hour without thinking about you.
I love you, to the big moon in the sky and back,


  1. I think of you and your family often. I will continue to pray for peace and healing for you all.

  2. Simply beautiful. I'm sorry your heart aches so much. You'll never stop missing him, but your words and memories will keep Christian's light shining on forever. No one will love that boy the way you & Chris loved him - but God will keep him safe until the day you meet again.

    God bless your broken heart Megan.

  3. Hang in there Megan. My heart aches for your loss. I can feel how much you miss your little man, and my mommy-self wants to reach out and wrap my arms around you all and make it better. Keep hanging on. Ryan and Evelyn love you and need you. Hang on to eachother.

    Lise Wendt

  4. You are in our hearts forever, may the thoughts of you smiles and funny faces help stop our tears . Missing you so much Christian . Hugs to you Megan,Chris,Evelyn and Ryan Prayers everyday for you all Love Nanny(mom)

  5. Prayers still go out to you and your family. Christian will always be there in your hearts. There will be a day that you think of him and a smile will be there instead of the tears. Allow yourselves time to heal. It is a slow process and it takes as long as it takes. You will not get back the "normal" that was, but in time, you will find a "new normal". You and your family are an inspiration to others who struggle, in more ways than you will ever know. Thank you for sharing. God bless

  6. Thinking of you daily and praying for you and your family.


  7. The love in your heart will heal you in time,hugs & prayers

  8. I still read your blog Megan and my heart continues to break for you. As a Mother I truly cannot imagine your pain. But from one to another I can send you prayers of strength and hope that one day your beautiful memories of your beautiful and amazing Son will be far greater than this pain. His amazing courage at such a young age and your story of life, enduring love and hope, has touched and inspired so many. I continue to pray for strength and healing to you Megan.

  9. You're doing good gal. One foot in front of the other