HALLELUIAH

Life is a series of seasons. Some long, some short, some easily managed and some so difficult – you wonder if it is even possible to make it. Do you have the energy, the faith and the courage to transition to the next phase of your life? Do I? Then something little happens – an amazing word of courage from a friend, the gentle hum of a custodian – they remind you that hope is there. It is available in so many different forms we have to just open our hearts to be lead. It has been one of the hardest weeks of my life this past week and I was beginning to faint. I saw a posting from one of Chris’ friends that linked to a song by the Canadian Tenors singing “Halleluiah”. Just a random remake with fairly generic lyrics but with voices that were so angelic I figured they had to be God driven. Just the chorus alone set me to tears. I have listened to the song about 100 times since then.

Moments of levity

We have been battling the flu, which has since turned into something more serious for Christian. Tomorrow morning he will have a CT scan to determine the extent of ‘sickness’ in his gut. The surgeons are considering everything from appendicitis to gastroenteritis to colitis. All I know is that he has been sick for a long time now. And as a parent I have reached my limit to watching my child suffer without explanation. How do you cope when they look into your eyes and plead for relief and none can be given? Mommy my tummy hurts.

Getting blodd and platelets

Appendicitis. Gastroenteritis. Colitis. Mucousitis. Apparently Christian has an “itis” – the question is which one? What we first thought was the common flu bug or “Dif C” as they refer to it here in the hospital, has turned into something a little more uncomfortable for Christian. I am so thankful for our unit pediatrician who took an extra interest in getting Christian sorted out. All of the medications that he has been taking are to help him with nausea and vomiting. Which have obviously worked because he has not been sick since yesterday morning. But he still has tons of tummy pain – constant tummy pain. Until today, nobody took an interest in helping Christian with his actual pain. So they gave him a dose of morphine and TA DA! He turned into a whole different little boy. For the past week he has been just sitting like a bump on a log. He didn’t want to visit with anybody (including his dad!), play with any of his toys or move around. He seemed depressed, sad and resigned. I now realize that he was sick and tired of the pain and was shutting down. As soon as his tummy pain disappeared he sat up and interacted with me. He asked for certain toys and even joked with me about things. He smiled and laughed and I felt such an amazing relief.

Trying to get over the stomach 'bug'

Another hurdle to jump over. Another obstacle to overcome. Cancer, chemotherapy, radiation, chemotherapy, regression, surgery, chemotherapy, GI issues, neutropeonia, fevers, stem cell harvesting, high dose chemo, stem cell transplant. Pray for the future. It seems insurmountable that one little 27 lb boy could even overcome these things. I walked to the little unit kitchen this morning and wondered where the strength would come from today. Chris had come down with the stomach flu, I was tapped out and Christian was feeling horrible. As I stumbled into the kitchen for a cup of coffee I overheard our unit custodian gently singing the song, “This is the day the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it”. Until that point I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through the day. Her words reminded me that God had already orchestrated this day for me. And in doing such provided me with the resources I needed to get through the day. All I needed to do was remember. Remember to ask for help. Remember to be faithful. Remember to praise God. Halleluiah

Today I am thankful for:

1.     Amazing, amazing music in my ears

2.     Loralie Phaneuf

3.     ITunes