Friday, November 11, 2011

Chocolate Blessings

Welcome back friends. It has been another long, long week. But it is Friday night and I think that means we have officially made it to the weekend – and I am praying that each day is going to get better. Christian and Daddy are nicely snuggled up together in our bed – oblivious to the world outside our doors. Somewhere a crowd is just gearing up for a night out and some crowds are happy to just bunker down with their families. I am so happy to be apart of the second group. Despite our anxiety and trials of this past week, Chris and I looked at each other tonight and spoke about how blessed we felt to be at home with our children – only partially healthy but at least we are together.  Things could always be so much worse and we are truly grateful for the men and women who are in foreign lands – assuring the safety and freedom for so many people.
Hiding in our room while the others are sick - "see my muscles?"
Tuesday ended up being an interesting birthday – one for the books. Christian went into the hospital for his first dose of mega chemo. Only to discover that the day would be filled with waiting, scans, tests and more waiting. I felt so full of anxiety and worry for Christian – how would he react to this toxic toxic round of chemo. Would he get violently ill? Would we ever get to leave the hospital? How much weight will he lose?  I actually had some heart pain and wondered if I was going to have a heart attack on my 36th birthday. I pulled myself together and tried to breath and move while I waited for updates from Chris. After supper Louise and Tracey (God’s little gift to me for my birthday!) showed up on my door step with flowers and chocoloate – HELLO??????!!!!! What else does a stressed out woman need but the sweetness of chocolate and the touch of a friend. It was such a lovely surprise and truly made my night. What was even better was a phone call from Chris saying that they were coming home for the night as they decided to delay his chemo for a day until they could read the results of his baseline CT scans.  So on my birthday I got to hang out with Ryan at the mall, have cupcakes and coffee with good friends and finished off the day cuddling Christian to sleep.
Ryan keeping the barf bins close!

Wednesday Christian and Chris packed up and headed back to the hospital to await the results of his CT scan and start his chemo. It was so sad as Christian truly didn’t want to leave home and cried (I think for the first time ever since starting his treatment last January) as he left. My heart was breaking as Chris carried his skinny little body out the door. The situation was made worse as I realized that I had come down with a cold and would not be able to go to the hospital at all to be with Christian. And then to add a little spice to my day Ryan started throwing up all over the place. I joked that I was going to lay down on the ground and see if anybody else wanted to kick me while I was down. But we made it through the day – and Christian made it through his day (although he also got quite sick). And we live to tell about it! 
Sleeping off the chemotherapy
The results of his baseline CT seem positive. He does still have some swelling in his pancreas (which they are hoping is a result of the surgery and pressure from the tumor) and the doctors feel confident that his body will be able to reabsorb all the extra fluid floating around his abdomen. He also has three tiny spots on his lungs – and were he not a cancer patient the Dr’s would assume that they are from his surgery and trauma associated with being intubated. But because he is a cancer patient they are going to follow them closely to make sure they are not growing masses. Other than that the CT scan looked great and our Oncologist felt good about the chemotherapy treatments.
Visit from Grandpa
Thursday morning Evelyn started to feel ill and Ryan was still blessing me with his barf. Christian had a good night and seemed to be managing the high dose chemo very well. I was still sick and not able to go and visit Christian so I was ecstatic when Chris called and said that they were allowed to come home! No 24 hour post chemo hydration was required. Yahooooooo It was so great to see his tiny little body walk through the door. I scooped him up and kissed his fuzzy little head. Two days felt like two weeks and I was so glad they were home. This brings us to today –Evelyn and Ryan are still both getting sick (thankfully Christian’s anti nausea medicine also works on Evelyn!) but with a little medicinal help, they day went smooth and was actually relaxing! It was so nice to not be rushing around or making any mad dashes anywhere. I am so excited about hanging Christmas decorations and making cookies.

So the real effects of the high dose chemo will begin as the drugs work their way through his system. We pray that he doesn’t develop any mouth sores (which makes it almost impossible for them to eat) and that his nausea is kept in check by his anti nausea medication. We pray that his immune system can tolerate the bashing it will receive and we will NOT have to go the hospital for fevers. He is on constant antibiotics for the next four weeks just in case he picks up a bug that his body can’t fight.
Despite all the goings on of this week there are blessings around every corner. On Wednesday morning when I was sitting on the couch feeling miserable and having a bit of a pity party the doorbell rang and it was a parcel for Christian – from Sweden. A friend of a friend sent some lovely gifts for Christian and chocolate (for me of course!) It was a great reminder to me just when I needed it - that so many people in so many different places are thinking about Christian and praying for our family. And instead of sitting and muling over how much things suck - I should raise my heart in prayer that these blessing would be made known to me and  I can be thankfull for the smallest of things. Focus on that which is good and forget that which I have no contorl over. 
Swedish Goodies

So excited to unwrap a gift!
There are people we don’t even know praying for healing for Christian and praying the he doesn’t get too sick during his treatments. So thank you to everybody for your well wishes and prayers over this past week while we waited to start this next round of treatments. Keeping the faith that God is continuing to hold us high – even when we don’t have the strength to hold ourselves. Literally. Praise God for the hope and optimism that I have in my heart. Thanks for reading

Today I am thankful for:
1.     Swedish Chocolate
2.     Christian’s new fuzz
3.     Good friends showing up just when I need them

1 comment:

  1. Wow, you are an amazing family and your blogs continue to make me look for the silver lining. God Bless your family and your strong little angel.