Wednesday, March 9, 2011

There is hope...

Loving my superman hat and cape - thanks Louise and Tracey!
Thanks so much for the lovely feedback from my last blog. Understandably it made some of you cry - it of course makes me cry.  But remember that there is Hope - there is always Hope.  We understand as a family it is difficult for the people who are not involved in our immediate life to see the progress, the smiles, the laughter and the possibilities.  When I first heard the news I did drop to my knees and I did wonder if my son was going to die. I felt hopeless....but only for a while. The doctors at the Children's hospital are amazing and so very prepared for this moment in too many parents lives. The first thing that Christian's oncologist told us was that there is no reason to think that Christian will get anything but better. There is it......HOPE.  As parents whom only hours earlier were in the depths of despair we clung onto his words.  I don't remember a whole lot about those first few weeks as each day seemed to blur into the next but I remember him telling us those words - I can still see his face and his blue shirt and tie and his honest eyes - giving us hope. We belived what he said and he didn't even know what kind of cancer it was yet.  So slowly our reality began to change and our focus shifted to, "what do we have to do now to make Christian better".  One day at a time, one test at a time, one chemo dose at a time and slowly things get better.

We want everybody to know that in our home there are many many smiles and laughter and good times. There is peace in our hearts and we trust in God to lead us and point us in the right direction. To give us calm when things are crazy.
 The first month the worst part of our day was when we had to administer his many meds and change his dressings. Some by mouth, some by needle and none of them wanted! It would break my heart as Christian is yelling, "Don't do it mommy, don't do it!" And as sad as it may seem this has come to be part of our daily routine that Christian has accepted. He even reminded me tonight, "Mom - you forgot my poke". Then proceed to cry and tell me he wasn't ready!
So don't be afraid to cry and be sad when needed but look to God for hope and trust in his plan and all will work out exactly the way it is supposed to.

Spending time in the HOT clinic getting my chemotherapy
So we are currently in week 6 of our 43 week timeline.  Every third week we are re-admitted to the hospital for his large does of chemotherapy.  He needs to stay so that they can properly hydrate him so that his kidneys can effectively remove the chemotherapy from his body.  He also gets doses of medicine to protect some of his other organs and to help him deal with nausea.  He really does not mind going to the hospital as the Wii always seems to find its way into his room (once again the amazing staff at the ACH seem to only have the best interests of the kids in mind).  When we checked into the hospital for the very first time the nurses didn't just ask what kind of allergies he had - they wanted to know what were his favorite things to do.  Did he have a favorite teddy or blanket? What could they do to make him feel better? And in the long run it made US feel better.  So each new day is a blessing and a chore and we will take it in stride - and tomorrow we will take the zoo!!!!!


  1. I am loving this blog and reading in more depth about Christian and his journey right now.

  2. What a beautiful message of Hope. Thank you for sharing your difficult journey Megan, you are truly an inspiration as is little Christian. Stay strong in Christ. Praying and thinking of your family. Danielle