Welcome home Ryan C

I am so sad that for the second blog in a row we are talking about oncology families losing their little angels. A few months into Christian’s treatment we met Ryan Carrington, his mother Amanda and his older brother, Matthew. He was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor a few years ago and has been battling every since. Last night Ryan died peacefully with his family by his side. He has been in so much pain and has endured things that seem insurmountable. I am so sorrowful at his passing but feel so much hope for him that he is now resting with God. He knows what it means to be pain free, to feel the peace and love of God.

Does it get any better than this smile ?

Even with a mask  you can see his eye's smiling!

The Carrington’s loss reinforces how important it is that each day we love to the absolute maximum. We all have jobs, responsibilities, bills, kids, hockey, etc – so to live life to the fullest by running off to climb a mountain or to swim the seas is not reasonable. To truly live each day to the fullest all we have to do is to love and love deep. To open ourselves to the love of others and to love ourselves. To not waste time on regret, anger and resentment but to forgive (for your own hearts sake), so that life can be lived to the fullest just by sitting in your living room with your family.  What would Amanda give to hug Ryan and one more time, look into his sweet eyes? You have the chance to love tonight.

Knocking it out of the park on his eye exam!

Echocardiogram...

Christian had his last dose of small chemo today. As well as eye appointment, bone scan, bone age x-ray, echocardiogram, and one very unwanted IV poke. But when all was said and done he was proclaimed healthy and ready for high dose therapy! The transplant team has decided to up his treatment dates to this upcoming Monday. Yikes. I immediately felt sick to my stomach at the thought of starting so quickly. I wasn’t sure I was ready for what was to come. Only for a brief moment - then the opportunity to complete his treatment a week earlier sounded great! I need to prepare myself for what is to come for Christian. Am I ready for him to be in pain again, throwing up, sick to his stomach and not wanting to eat? Chris and I have been over the moon these past few days as Christian seems to be improving and growing by leaps and bounds. All of a sudden he likes food again, he pronounced today, “you know I like apple juice again”. So proud! It my seem small and insignificant, but one cup of apple juice is 100 calories…. That is worth a million dollars in our eyes. Each time he polishes off a container of yogurt or a slice of pizza, Chris and I look at each other with knowing smiles. Smiles of relief and knowing that he is on the road to a better state of health. On the road to being a normal little boy. On the road to doing the things he wants to do. Today on our way out of the hospital Evelyn and Christian had a couple of foot races. And the joy in my heart of watching him chase her through the lobby is almost unexplainable.  They were a normal brother and sister doing what they should be doing – enjoying each other’s company and trying to beat the snot out of the other one. I LOVED IT!!!!!!

Healing so well

These are Christian's famous angry eyes....so cute

In all of this I need to keep my focus on God. Remember to not “worry about anything but pray about everything”. (Philippians 4:6) So that any worry that comes my way over the weekend or while we are waiting for his chemo to be done and the real trouble to start – I can have that worry, consider it then throw it over to God and say, ‘here – you deal with this and I will just trust the outcome”. This makes my life so much easier. I must remind myself of the miracles Christian has already experienced and trust that he will be valiantly led to victory. Its close. I can hear the waves calling our name. An 18^th hole with Christian’s name on it. A morning of watching my three kids play in the sand – cancer free.

Hello....does it get any cooler than this?

This is Ryan saying, "chesee!"

Today I am thankful for:

1.     Christian’s new found appetite

2.     Friendly ACH employees 

3.     Friends that care