"CHRISTIAN"

Driving the tractor at Butterfield

Ok so only one blog post got out in the new format and I am already changing things. But I have been feeling like I needed to write something about where my heart is. I want people to know what it feels like to live with a child with ‘incurable cancer’ and to be lead by Christ at the same time. I was praying before I wrote this post and looking for some direction and I came across this while reading a daily bible verse on my phone.

“Do you recognize the Holy Spirit’s influence and work in your life to create and shape you for God’s glory? Cry out to God and seek His face! Surrender your own agenda daily and open your heart to be led by the Spirit of God.”

I went last week to see my Chiropractor who was trying to help me with my back. After the appointment she looked at me and said with her gentle smile, “how are you doing?” I immediately burst into tears as I begin to relay our story and the shift that has occurred in our lives. Immediately she reminded me that my purpose and promise to God was that I would continue to talk about and glorify God through Christian’s miracle. Not just so I can encourage others but as a reminder to me what God has done for our family, for Christian. REMEMBER. That I will not live another day in fear for the future; but thanksgiving for today and with joy in my heart I will accept what God has placed in my home. He is making us better; He is leading our family in ways I could never have imagined. Even though I don’t often share the intimate details of my spiritual journey with God I have to share an image or vision I had while laying in bed contemplating my life with fear. I pictured Jesus hanging on the cross, He was very close to death and His head was hanging low on his chest taking his last few breaths. And from out of nowhere I hear him whisper, “Christian”. The most amazing and powerful spiritual moment I have ever experienced, God was saying to me, “I love your son, I love you and your family so much that I am going to die on this cross today for you”. He was thinking of each and everyone of us while He hung waiting to die. So there is nothing that He could put in front of me that wouldn’t be good. Because there is no way that He would endure that suffering to let us down or forget about us. It immediately encouraged me to trust that God is in control of everything and I don’t need to worry – as Loralie tells me often, “He’s got this”. I just need to continue to seek out the good in each situation I find myself in. Great is thy faithfulness and great is God’s plan for us if we will only allow Him to guide us.

Who's cheeky????

I need to be lead. Each day I falter to the umpteenth degree. I lose my patience, our marriage is in constant construction, I feel weak and unmotivated. I don’t call my friends back, I am not the best wife, sister or mother but I want to be. I want to be a great and inspiring leader for my children. I want them to be honest, loyal, protective, sympathetic, compassionate and loving. And I know they only way they will learn this is if I show them. Oh help me please!!!!!

Christian, when you read this in 10 or 15 years time I want you to know the God that saved you. I want you to know that this time in our lives was a gift that God gave to us. To teach us to be faithful, trusting and secure in His love for us. That all we can do in return is offer our lives to Him. You constantly amaze me with your desire to seek God. Twice this past week you asked me when we were going to church so you could sing and listen to the music. You raise your hands and it seems as thought God is touching your hands and telling you secrets with your eyes closed. I want to know what He says to you but it will remain your secret. You are cheeky, smiley, loving, compassionate and full of life. This past week we have done so many great things I am so thankful for this opportunity to spend time with you. To sit and marvel at Ryan, Evelyn and yourself. To see you interact and love each other. This morning at breakfast you and Evelyn where hugging and giving each other kisses. Wow.

Yesterday we spent a glorious day at Silvertip golf resort where you totally rocked the course and amazed those around you with your patience, understanding and wit. We had pizza in the park, played in the mountains, walked along the river, and sat in the hot springs under the stars. It was a day almost too good to be true. Can we really be this blessed? Today we all when to Butterfield acres with Miss Klein and baby Hudson. Ryan was so excited to see a cow, and it didn’t disappoint!  Lots of animal poop, dust, farm animals, tractor rides, pony rides, smiles and pictures later we made our way home. I looked in the rearview mirror and everybody’s cheeks glowed, the wind and sun exhausted us all but it was such a gift.

Four weeks post - op....amazing!

Other bucket list events of the week included hanging out with Aunty Vivian (yes, store upstairs!) going to see Toopy and Binoo live (compliments of the Starlight Foundation) and lots of time at home playing. Lots of cuddles in bed, lots of skinny legs draped over mine while I slept. Lots of kisses and telling me we are going to have to have our ‘bursdays’ (birthdays) together because he wasn’t letting go of me. I love that you want to watch Christmas movies already; I love your intense spirit and stubbornness. I love you so much.

one little fence can't stop me!!!

Christian, we had a great week. I thank God for you and your fight. I thank God that He is following us, holding us, guiding us, and showing us the way.

Today I am thankful for:

1.Evenlyn asking me who my prince charming was after reading her a princess book. When I told her it was daddy, she looked shocked and asked me, “How did you know?”

2. My prince charming

3.Cinderella and her little mice - Gus

TOOPY AND BINOO!!!!

Fall fun at Canmore parks