Tuesday, September 25, 2012


Driving the tractor at Butterfield
Ok so only one blog post got out in the new format and I am already changing things. But I have been feeling like I needed to write something about where my heart is. I want people to know what it feels like to live with a child with ‘incurable cancer’ and to be lead by Christ at the same time. I was praying before I wrote this post and looking for some direction and I came across this while reading a daily bible verse on my phone.
“Do you recognize the Holy Spirit’s influence and work in your life to create and shape you for God’s glory? Cry out to God and seek His face! Surrender your own agenda daily and open your heart to be led by the Spirit of God.”
I went last week to see my Chiropractor who was trying to help me with my back. After the appointment she looked at me and said with her gentle smile, “how are you doing?” I immediately burst into tears as I begin to relay our story and the shift that has occurred in our lives. Immediately she reminded me that my purpose and promise to God was that I would continue to talk about and glorify God through Christian’s miracle. Not just so I can encourage others but as a reminder to me what God has done for our family, for Christian. REMEMBER. That I will not live another day in fear for the future; but thanksgiving for today and with joy in my heart I will accept what God has placed in my home. He is making us better; He is leading our family in ways I could never have imagined. Even though I don’t often share the intimate details of my spiritual journey with God I have to share an image or vision I had while laying in bed contemplating my life with fear. I pictured Jesus hanging on the cross, He was very close to death and His head was hanging low on his chest taking his last few breaths. And from out of nowhere I hear him whisper, “Christian”. The most amazing and powerful spiritual moment I have ever experienced, God was saying to me, “I love your son, I love you and your family so much that I am going to die on this cross today for you”. He was thinking of each and everyone of us while He hung waiting to die. So there is nothing that He could put in front of me that wouldn’t be good. Because there is no way that He would endure that suffering to let us down or forget about us. It immediately encouraged me to trust that God is in control of everything and I don’t need to worry – as Loralie tells me often, “He’s got this”. I just need to continue to seek out the good in each situation I find myself in. Great is thy faithfulness and great is God’s plan for us if we will only allow Him to guide us.

Who's cheeky????
I need to be lead. Each day I falter to the umpteenth degree. I lose my patience, our marriage is in constant construction, I feel weak and unmotivated. I don’t call my friends back, I am not the best wife, sister or mother but I want to be. I want to be a great and inspiring leader for my children. I want them to be honest, loyal, protective, sympathetic, compassionate and loving. And I know they only way they will learn this is if I show them. Oh help me please!!!!!

Christian, when you read this in 10 or 15 years time I want you to know the God that saved you. I want you to know that this time in our lives was a gift that God gave to us. To teach us to be faithful, trusting and secure in His love for us. That all we can do in return is offer our lives to Him. You constantly amaze me with your desire to seek God. Twice this past week you asked me when we were going to church so you could sing and listen to the music. You raise your hands and it seems as thought God is touching your hands and telling you secrets with your eyes closed. I want to know what He says to you but it will remain your secret. You are cheeky, smiley, loving, compassionate and full of life. This past week we have done so many great things I am so thankful for this opportunity to spend time with you. To sit and marvel at Ryan, Evelyn and yourself. To see you interact and love each other. This morning at breakfast you and Evelyn where hugging and giving each other kisses. Wow.

Yesterday we spent a glorious day at Silvertip golf resort where you totally rocked the course and amazed those around you with your patience, understanding and wit. We had pizza in the park, played in the mountains, walked along the river, and sat in the hot springs under the stars. It was a day almost too good to be true. Can we really be this blessed? Today we all when to Butterfield acres with Miss Klein and baby Hudson. Ryan was so excited to see a cow, and it didn’t disappoint!  Lots of animal poop, dust, farm animals, tractor rides, pony rides, smiles and pictures later we made our way home. I looked in the rearview mirror and everybody’s cheeks glowed, the wind and sun exhausted us all but it was such a gift.
Four weeks post - op....amazing!
Other bucket list events of the week included hanging out with Aunty Vivian (yes, store upstairs!) going to see Toopy and Binoo live (compliments of the Starlight Foundation) and lots of time at home playing. Lots of cuddles in bed, lots of skinny legs draped over mine while I slept. Lots of kisses and telling me we are going to have to have our ‘bursdays’ (birthdays) together because he wasn’t letting go of me. I love that you want to watch Christmas movies already; I love your intense spirit and stubbornness. I love you so much.
one little fence can't stop me!!!
Christian, we had a great week. I thank God for you and your fight. I thank God that He is following us, holding us, guiding us, and showing us the way.

Today I am thankful for:
1.Evenlyn asking me who my prince charming was after reading her a princess book. When I told her it was daddy, she looked shocked and asked me, “How did you know?”
2. My prince charming
3.Cinderella and her little mice - Gus
Fall fun at Canmore parks


  1. Today I pack a few thing to get ready to come out to spend time with all of you. I pray everyday that Christian will never sit in a hospital bed saying I hate this I hate this again, one of the hardest things I have ever had to see. From those moments before surgery ,when he just seem so beaten and than right after he was like he had not just lost a tumor but god gave him a new spirit with such power. Everything about him was stronger ,happier it was amazing .To know and be lucky enough to spend alot of time with Chritian is to see how god can work. These picture are ones of what children should be doing .Smilling

  2. Megan, the Bible says that we are new creations - we are not becoming new creations. We are complete as of 2000 years ago. You are an entirely new Megan, a complete and perfect mom, wife, friend, child of God. God requires nothing of you but to simply believe it. Christ as you the hope of glory is your identity. Just as Christian is already healed on the cross, so you are already everything that God intended you to be from before the foundations of the world. I'm preaching to me here as well. Let's chill together and sink back into the fullness of who we are in Christ!

  3. Megan, You are perfecting spirituality, yourself, parenting, marriage and life -through faith and introspection. I am so glad to see these photos of and to hear that you are seizing each moment as you all can. Thank you again and again for sharing Christian's( -and your family's) journey with all of us. We gain so much. Continue to enjoy each moment as it comes. Gentle HUGS to Christian, you, Chris, Evelyn, Ryan and all of those close to you -as well as all of you that are in support from afar.

  4. What a thought provoking blog. Don't worry about the rough edges you have Megan. I like to help with the smoothing off of those things as you may have noticed. Marilyn I couldn't agree more with your insights regarding God removing the tumor from Christian and giving him a new spirit with such power. He has and will continue to touch many lives through Christian as He has touched yours. Like Megan you too are being changed more into His likeness and Christian is blessed by being truly loved by so many and stirring up the love in the many hearts that may never have been reached any other way.

  5. Thank you for sharing yourself and your family with us. Every time I look at photos of Christian, I see an old soul in his eyes. Very wise eyes, like he knows something that we don't! And as much as I wish for your family and your "bucket list", I just as greatly wish for the everyday. I wish for Evelyn, Ryan, Christian, yourself and Chris to have more "everydays" as a family. More days just playing at the park in Coopers, or swimming or playing in the snow or rolling in the leaves in the fall. This is what I pray for. Thank you again for sharing and as always I look forward to your next blog.